Friday, August 19, 2011

The Spudward Effect...

The Spudward Effect.  Puppy breath and
bald, speckled puppy belly.
The Spudward Effect has completely taken over our home.  It's an interesting but frustrating phenomenon that sometimes has Sweets, Sophie and I taken back wondering how we ever became willing participants to it and all of the interesting things that come with it.  Hopefully you will never fall victim to the Spudward Effect or any of it's related cousins.

We took a few moments to analyze this unusual occurrence  to be able to determine the causes and symptoms of this debilitating issue taking over our home.  Here are the results...

Common Causes of the Spudward Effect

  • The presence of puppy breath, bald speckled puppy belly and extremely soft fur on a puppy that is younger than 12 weeks old.
  •  A set of dark brown, sad peering eyes directed at any human who is trying to enjoy any other activity other than feeding or petting the aforementioned puppy.
  • A puppy taking it upon himself to ensure he sleeps in the most adorable position possible.  Including occasionally cuddling with the other dog in the house ensuring that a well timed "Awww!" comes out of the mouths of the humans inhabiting the home.
Common Consequences of the Spudward Effect
    The Spudward Effect is hard to resist snuggling with!
  • The uncontrollable urge to give the cause of the Spudward Effect multiple hugs and kisses at random times as the day goes on.
  • Excessive blogging and writing about the cause of the Spudward Effect to the point where it's actually becoming quite "yawn."  I promise to stop soon.
  • Multiple trips outside at all hours of the day and night to ensure the cause of the Spudward Effect isn't pummeled by Sweets or myself for incessantly peeing on the linoleum.  And I do mean ALL hours of the day and night.
  • Lack of sleep from going in and out of the house so many times in a 24 hour period and cussing excessively when the weather outdoors isn't cooperative.
  • The cause of the Spudward Effect has started eating as much as it's counterpart even though it weighs less than 1/2.  Hence, it is quickly becoming expensive to simply feed the source of the Spudward Effect.
  • The house supply of paper towels disappears twice as fast now that the Spudward Effect has taken full hold on the household.
  • More toys, leashes and dog shampoo are being purchased for the cause of the Spudward Effect because they are used up and destroyed quickly.
  • We are now very well aware of the location that all of the neighbor's cats prefer to use the restroom in our yard because the cause of the Spudward Effect has found them all.  (No one should EVER know that, ever.) 
  • One of the humans in the household now insists on sweeping the porch and driveway free of any plant material and rocks because the cause of the Spudward Effect WILL eat small stones, pennies, sticks and plant life whenever given the chance.
On his way home from the Trader's Fair.
Undetermined Future Issues of the Spudward Effect
  • It is not known at this time if the squirrels, cats and other wild life in the area will be terrorized by the Spudward Effect.
  • It is yet to be determined if the cause of the Spudward Effect will have to be leashed when outdoors.
  • The intelligence level of the cause of the Spudward Effect is yet to be determined.  There are signs of extreme intelligence but then again, there are also signs of extreme stupidity.
  • The final size and weight of the cause of the Spudward Effect is still unknown but it is under suspicion that this phenomenon will be approximately the same size/weight as Sophie, depending on how many pennies, plants, rocks, poop and other odd things that are digested by the cause of the Spudward Effect
In Conclusion

The Spudward Effect is debilitating to humans and other animals living within the household.  This phenomenon changes on a daily basis presenting new challenges and questions.  

Consistency is important when dealing with the Spudward Effect because it does become more predictable and easier to manage.

This phenomenon has occurred in many homes all around the world.  It appears the best way to not fall victim is to avoid Flea Markets where puppies are being sold, signs that say "free puppies," pet shops and ads that have puppies for sale.

And just say no when someone asks you if you will take a free puppy so he won't be dumped somewhere to die.  *heart string pull*

Good luck avoiding it.  It's hard.  Believe me, I know.  

Happy Friday my friends.

*hugs*

~Lanie  

2 comments:

  1. Lanie,

    Heidi is a real Spudward Effect sad eyes constant attention young 9 year old. Sadie suffers from no Spudward Effect although she did tear up the carpet outside her crate when a pup (she was moved uptown - on a card table) until she couldn't reach through the crate. I believe that the Spudward Effect will die down as even the Sun has cycles.

    Chris :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahaha the spudward effect hits us all at times with a new pet, it should die down. Maybe not the poo eating though hahaha

    ReplyDelete

Say want you want but be nice or be gone. :)