|Evil Potato Chip Dip|
Source: Lanie Ricketts
Patient- "Hey Doc, it hurts when I do that."
Doctor- "Well then don't do that."
I think I'm on a mission to of subconscious attempted suicide. Well, maybe not that extreme but I am on a mission to repeatedly hurt myself by doing some really stupid things. At this point, one false move and I'll be at least hospitalized. Stranger things have happened, let me tell ya.
In the past two days, I've had a couple of close calls from clumsiness. I tell people all the time that I'm the clumsiest person you know even if you have just met me. Accidents have been so common that I'm even leery of using the sewing machine right now. But I must because there are things to complete for this weekend.
So far this week I have stubbed numerous toes on the beautiful vintage, solid wood doors in this house. I've tripped over invisible things laying around the house a couple of times but I think that's due to the toes being whacked against doors. I've burned my fingertips pulling things out of the oven because I didn't hold the hot pad correctly, I was in a hurry. I've had things that I've put up out of the was fall a few times when I've went to retrieve them.
My favorite and most unbelievable is when I was stirring french onion potato chip dip and it splashed out of the container. It went all over the front of my shirt and into my eye. Have you ever had potato chip dip in your eye? Well, I'm here to tell you that it hurts like a bitch. It hurts worse that stubbing toes or burning the fingerprints off the tips of your fingers and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Well, that last part isn't entirely true but we'll pretend that it is for the sake of the conversation.
After the initial "OH MY GOD THAT HURTS!" it donned on me. How do you get chip dip out of your eye? There's no instructions for that and in the midst of the pain, Google is the last thing that comes to mind. The answer is carefully. VERY carefully. And lots of ice cold paper towels afterward because the eye swells up nicely. *sigh*
I'm not looking at this as a negative thing. I'm looking at it all as I need to slow down a little bit and pay more attention to what I'm doing when I'm doing it. There's been a lot of things on my mind lately that are quite distracting and that's more than likely the cause of my latest physical blunders.
At least I can still laugh at it.
Happy Friday my friends!