I had a video therapy session a couple of days ago and my homework was to start keeping a journal. Looking for any patterns that can pop up.
Today is also the day that something that I really believe is important has crossed my mind. I have to be careful what I look at online.
For example, anything that has any cruelty involved needs to stay off my newsfeed on Facebook. My PTSD allows me to empathize with victims. I feel their pain because I know the pain. That part of my brain will not shut down. It’s a frustrating part of my disorder because I can be sitting at the kitchen table just fine and dandy, see an image or action online or on TV and immediately feel the bad tingles of pain in my chest, stomach and throat. It’s what I imagine walking to my own death would feel like.
I’m safe. I know it but my body calls me a liar.
I’m not saying that the internet should be censored at all because of people like me. I would NEVER agree with censorship of any kind. I guess what I am saying is to the people that are like me, that can have their PTSD disorder triggered with something as simple as a photo, be careful on social media. We see these type of images all the time. To the point that some people are desensitized to them.
I’m in fight/flight/freeze right now while typing this. I saw a photo online that put me here right now. I am learning how to calm myself with breathing and relaxing but some days, it can just be too much.
I downloaded a Blogger app on my phone and since I’m supposed to journal every day... lucky you. 😊. Lucky me because I can now write from my iPhone. I’m kinda liking it so far.