This is much longer than what I usually post. For that, I apologize but there are some things here that I just had to say.
Believe it or not I am an extremely empathetic person. I hate to see another person in pain or upset. At the same time, somewhere along my life path I have lost the ability to show my emotions. The consequences of that ability loss can cause me to appear cold and closed off, uncaring and unfeeling to a lot of people. They can view me as a robot that never shows any emotional changes. Truth is I'm far from it. There are a wave of emotions within me that I think sometimes lose out when processed through logic, experience and common sense. My heart tells me one thing but my brain overrides it. My most dreaded question has always been: "How do you feel?"
People can talk about their emotions all day long but I really don't believe that just talking about them will change anything about how they feel in certain situations. You can give the appearance of change but is there really a difference in the way you feel deep within yourself when thinking or talking about certain instances and experiences? Just because you know the origin of your reactions and the answer to the question why does not mean that it changes the way you feel about it or the way you will react to it. Does it?
Emotions are not a subject that a lot of people like to talk about. I know that I can become extremely uncomfortable at times when the subject comes up. But your emotions about any given situation are never wrong, for you. It is exactly how you feel and when someone doesn't feel the same way that you do, human nature tells them that you are wrong… even though in reality, you aren't. I think this is where a lot of people have trouble. We have given this problem the nickname "Live and Let Live." Religion and Politics are a good example. Not everyone FEELS the same about it and it has even gone as far as to cause fights and spark wars. It has caused hatred and misunderstanding when instead it could have led to nothing if the other person's emotions would have been respected on both sides. It makes me sick inside to think of how many people in this world have actually been killed because of the way they felt about something that someone else doesn't agree with.
We all have our skeletons in our closets, things that we have experienced whether they are good or bad, that can and often does haunt us for the rest of our lives. No one ever promised us a perfect experience with life. We all have the gift of free will and make our choices every day whether to use our experiences for the betterment of ourselves and the others around us. I love having choices. It is one of the things that make us feel free. Take away the experiences of our lives and the choices that come because of them and what do we have left and how much of our lives will change? Changing one split second of your experiences will change everything from then on forward, including some of the most wonderful experiences of our lives.
But I can't help but sometimes wonder "What if?" Even though my mother has always told me that the "What if" doesn’t count. I know it doesn't but I can't help but think about what would have happened had I made a few different decisions in my life.
learning that I was wrong, but I have learned how to cage them in a sense. It's a bit odd but today I view them as my warning system. They protect me and keep me from entering into a similar scenario that brings along the bad that comes with it like a second thought or the feeling of de ja vous. This is where I was molded to, using the pain from past experience to choose which path to take when the choice is presented. It isn't necessarily the path less traveled but when you want to go forward, you can never go back. That's just the way it is.
Human beings are always fearful of what they don't understand. Maybe that is why a lot of people do not have their emotions in check or become easily overwhelmed with them. We don't know why our emotions exist, but they are there and are a large factor of why we do the things we do every day. You can't get away from them, that's a given. But we can sometimes take a moment and examine them before allowing them to run our lives because everything and I mean EVERYTHING that we do is based on some sort of emotion. Not one decision is made without some sort of emotion guiding our decision. They say to don't get emotionally involved in something. Well… that's impossible. We are emotionally involved in everything that we experience with our senses and that is everything. It's just that some emotional reactions are more subtle and we don't even realize that they are happening.
Emotions are a gift and curse. All wrapped up into one single package. We can't avoid them because most of us are controlled by them. I guess it's just like everything else in life. It is what you make it. So learn to make it the best that you possibly can and think before you act.