|Sophie and I in 2005. I was 33 she was 2.|
Happiness is a funny little thing my friends. It can come and go. Back and forth so quickly. Most of us peruse it with a vengeance only to discover that sometimes we become so involved in that pursuit that we forget why we are chasing it to begin with.
I've come to the conclusion that the older we become, the more set in our ways we are. The things we do don't really become habits, they actually become a defining part of who we are.
There are boxes in the basement of this house that had not been unpacked since about 2005-2006. I was looking for a Kong for idiot boy the other night and found something that I knew I still had, but had no idea what I would think about it when I saw it. My old Verizon cell phone.
It's amazing how much of one's life can be wrapped up in a cell phone.
|Sophie and I 2010. I was 38 and she was 7.|
Maybe I'm just having one of "those moments." A girl moment where you rack your brain a bit to put everything into perspective. Replay sections of the memory bank like watching old black and white movies on a big screen summer movie night. Times that made me cringe with disappointment and dread. And the times that made my stomach flutter and realize how much I really do like this whole being alive thing.
The only consistency in life is it's inconsistencies and the fact that we are all getting older. I for one am pushing 40... really hard. In 82 days to be exact and yes, I counted. I remember when I turned 30 that I said it would be the best decade of my life. And for the most part, it wasn't too bad. The 30's were the decade of indulgence. The 40's will be my decade of better responsibility and building wealth for the future.
I still have a cell phone but it's no where near as interesting as that one was. But that's OK. I'm more content with the small contact list and a lot less hassles. Life slowed down to a more manageable pace. A pace that keeps me content and more relaxed. With only a few regrets.
That old Verizon phone does have quite a few photos of the places I've been. Chicago, Washington DC, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati... and a few of life's little indulgences. Photos of the ones that were temporary, the ones that really mattered and the ones that will be in my heart forever.