Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Village Idiot...

Our village idiot will be a year old in a couple of weeks.  Personally, I'll be happier when he turns 2 instead of just 1.  

They say that there are 7 human years to every 1 year in a dog's life.  If that's true then I have another year of shredded papers, drinking out of the toilet even when the lid is down, counter surfing, poop rolling and eating and other miscellaneous silliness and unbelievable things to come from this guy.

Problem is, he's also adorable and a cuddle bug.

It's the Spudward effect.

There's no antidote, no quick chemical to spray and no way to get away from it once it has you in it's grasp.  We have been trying to overcome it for 9 months now but have failed terribly.

Yesterday when Justin and I were walking back to work on coop 1.0, I saw a white tinged blur zip across the back yard.  Someone, namely Spudward, had finally discovered that if he pulls on his lead backward that his collar will slip over his head and set him free to roam the back yard, unsupervised.  Who knows exactly how long he was tormenting Sophie by jumping over bushes and zipping in and out of her area.  He looked extremely happy as he ran the perimeter of the yard and initially ignored my calling his name.

He stopped just long enough to check out the neighbor's chickens.  No worries though because Spudward is friendly to chickens.  He likes to watch them.  He likes to eat their feed... and their poop.  I know, it's Spudward though.  He's kinda gross in SO many different ways.

Sophie and I decided that it might be a good idea to take Spudward to obedience classes.  We have tried so many things to try and suppress the idiot side of his personality to no avail.  She keeps telling me that if he pulls on her tail or bites her ears just one more time that she's going to bitch slap him from here to China and back.  (Sophie used to be a roamer so her geography knowledge is quite extensive for a Husky.)

Spudward has had a stay of surgery for being neutered for some time now because of scheduling conflicts and the one time I overslept.  I'm suspicious that he had something to do with that by turning off the alarm clock with his paw when it started to beep.  He's smart enough to pay attention to how it is done.  In hindsight, my teasing him by saying "snip, snip" with scissor hand motions probably wasn't a good idea.  He just seems to figure these things out somehow.

I should have been more diligent in finding a home for him like I originally planned back in July.  I only took him because they said if someone didn't that he was going into a burlap sack and being thrown into the water.  Let me put your ass into a burlap bag with a boulder and toss you into the lake. Things like that make me want to slap the shit out of people and I couldn't let them do that to him.  He was so little, timid, adorable and scared.  So I took him home.  It didn't take long to fall in love with him either.

Again, it's the Spudward Effect.  There is no cure and there is no escape.

So come May 1st, you'll get to see Spudward's little birthday party.  Everyone will be wearing little party hats, except Sophie because she's old and grouchy and party hats just aren't her thing no matter what I try and bribe her with.  I'll bake him a doggy cupcake or two to enjoy with the blueberry muffins that the chickens will have in celebration of the Village Idiot's first year on Earth.  Marsala said that blueberry muffins are the only way that she and the girls will tolerate the humiliation of having to wear party hats for a dog and they flat and outright refuse to sing anything for him.  She sometimes reminds me of the goose in Charlotte's Web.  It will be a nice little party.

So it appears that the Spudward Effect only works on humans.  That's good to know.

I'll continue to closely monitor this guy with a little help from Sophie.  She puts him in his place when need be and he continues to annoy the hell out of her whenever the opportunity presents itself.  He's Spuddy.  Our Village Idiot.  The most annoying dog I've ever known.  But there's just something about him that I can't quite put my finger on that captures your heart and just makes people fall in love with him.

Happy Thursday my friends!

Be careful because the Spudward Effect can be contagious.






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