Saturday, April 18, 2020

Crazy is as Crazy Does...

I lost track of how many days this quarantine has been going on.  Honestly I have a love/hate relationship with it right now. 

Last night, Cory and I were talking about the stimulus checks that have been going out.  We have been blessed that our financial situation hasn’t changed at all since this thing started.  Originally I didn’t think we would get the check, but after taking a second look, I was wrong.  So... what would we do with it?  

We paid off a credit card.  We are throwing a bit into the stock market.  Holding on to a bit to use to fill a much needed area around the driveway with gravel.  We are stimulating the economy but in a way that benefits us in the long run.  

I realize not everyone was as lucky as we are.  I’m not sure what we would have done if Cory’s job was labeled as non-essential or his hours were cut.  I have the apps to work but It would be really difficult for me to replace his income.  

Then my mind goes here...

I used to work in the service industry as a waitress and a bartender.  Funny thing is that even though I didn’t know it at the time, my PTSD had a huge effect on it.  

Blowing things out of proportion and getting aggravated really quick were two things that I used to do.  Heck, I gave 2 weeks notice at one place in the middle of an emotional moment.  Now I never make decisions in the middle of an emotional moment.  It just never works out well for me.

Anyway, in the end I figured out that out of all of the professions out there that someone can do, waitressing and bartending are two of the most unpredictable jobs out there.  That’s why I made the choice to move on from it.  

Technically I’m unemployable right now but I can do the apps because of the flexibility of being able to work when I’m able to and want to.  I’m grateful for that.

Thank goodness I made the decision a few years ago to get into residual writing.  I still get paid every month even though I haven’t written anything in over a year.  I really want to add to my portfolio but just haven’t done it yet.  It is really nice to still get paid on work that you did 10 years earlier.

Anyway, I think my brain is a bit scrambled today.  It’s ok because I’m aware of it.  The only reason I’m even writing anything here today is because I’m supposed to and I’m doing everything that I can to leave the hell that my brain is stuck in and get back to where I should be.

Hopefully tomorrow’s entry will be better.




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